Because I am a terrible person and like to include magic items that are less than useful at first glance, here is a collection of 50 of them. I plan on making a zine with an adventure to go with these as well at some point.
Note that these are written for B/X dungeons and dragons to try to make them as easily portable into any version of the game you chose to play. Except 4th edition, but you’re on your own on that one.
- Wand of create wand: Each wand has a single charge. They are brittle and cannot hold much weight.
- Scroll of un-urinate.
- Hanlon’s club: as a +1 club, but it cuts like a bladed weapon.
- Scroll of memory erasure: Roll a D4 and consult the chart below to determine the length of time forgotten: 1. the last minute, 2. the last hour, 3. the last day, and 4. the last year
- Wand of Visual message: You can deliver a mental message to a single person on the same plane as you, but it can only contain pictures, images, or rough pantomime, no written or verbal communication.
- Scroll of terrible bargain: You gain +2 attack, +2 AC, and an extra 2D6 hit points, but lose 1 hit point every hour until death. Only a remove curse spell can remove this.
- Bedroll of insomnia: while laying in this bedroll you cannot fall asleep and do not get drowsy. However, this also means you don’t rest and will take a -1 penalty to all die rolls until you can get 8 hours of sleep.
- Tunic of disrobing: While wearing this tunic, you can take one action to remove all equipment including this tunic.
- Eyebead: Looking into one of these decorative beads lets you see through the other. There is another somewhere…but the view is dark currently.
- Mask of hideousness: Change your face into any (ugly) form.
- Hand Lotion of iron grip: If your hands are covered in this lotion, you cannot be disarmed. Lotion lasts for one minute.
- Toy insect: This grasshopper acts like a normal bug can be deactivated and reactivated.
- Clicker counter: declare what you are counting. This clicker will click and count each time said thing occurs. Will reset on death.
- Boots of balloon: while wearing these boots, your weight is less than one pound. This makes movement very difficult, halving your speed, and making melee attacks impossible, but you can roughly float by wildly flapping your arms at a speed of 30’/10’.
- Statue of the compelling figure: Anyone in the same room must Save against spells or will study this fine figure until interrupted, even missing meals and sleep. Or hostile enemies approaching.
- Horn of silence: While you are blowing into this horn, everyone that can hear it (up to 200 feet away) is affected by the silence spell with no save. It takes an action to blow the horn and extending the silence beyond one turn requires a constitution check. This check takes a -1 penalty every turn it is continued to be blown. After blowing the horn, it shatters.
- The Longbow of Short Sight: This is a +2 longbow, but while wielding it your vision is limited to 30 ft. Beyond this range everything is formless grey shapes.
- Name tag of disguise self: This name tag always displays your true name but allows you to change your appearance as if with the disguise self spell at will.
- Wand of outrageous noise: This wand fires an audible blast of extremely annoying noise. It is like a mix of kazoos, children yelling, and discordant percussion.
- A sentient journal with a bad attitude. You can record your thoughts and records in this journal by talking with it or by writing in it. The spirit inside the tome can then recall anything you’ve written in it, but sometimes may require a successful charisma check to convince it to stop moping about.
- Chalk of real walls. You can draw on floors or walls with this chalk, which will then magically project a thick wall or platform out to 5 feet. There is enough chalk to produce roughly 50 ft of walls or platforms. Platforms can be broken; it has an AC of 6  and 10 HP per 5 ft.
- Mind Cable: Up to 5 people can link their minds together with these thick cables that stick to the back of the skull. While linked, a person cannot move more than 15 feet away from another linked person. All decisions for anyone connected requires a majority vote, even minor things like picking objects up, but all parties can use the highest of intelligence, wisdom, or charisma of anyone connected, and can cast any spells that another connected person has. It uses slots for the one who prepared or knows that spells.
- Mind Master: This gem is planted into the front of the skull with a painful process. You lose 1D12 maximum hit points, down to a minimum of 1. While within a mile of anyone connected to a Mind Cable, you can command them telepathically and they must obey. They can make a saving throw against spells each day to resist until the next day.
- Spectacles of false sights: While wearing these glasses, you perceive all false doors, illusions, and hidden traps…but they’re all fake and not actually there.
- Spring leg warmers: While wearing these leg warmers, your legs can stretch and recoil like a string. You are always under the effect of the jump spell, can stretch up to 20 feet, and your unarmed attacks have reach. However, this weakens your legs and they can be snapped by an opponent if they strike your legs or grapple you.
- Spell tag of Spite: This spell tag affixes to your clothing. Next time you take damage, you can burn this tag as a reaction. If you do, you take no damage and everyone that you can see takes the damage instead.
- Bottled Thunder: This empty vial is still corked. Uncorking it unleashes the powerful sound inside, dealing 1d6 damage and deafening everyone in a 100 ft range on a failed breath weapon save. Its only identifiable marking is a decorative music note.
- Brass lamp of scent erasure: While this lamp is burning, all scents in a 250 ft range cease to exist.
- Patented wait-a-while© rock: You can say the command word imprinted on the bottom of this rock (“brb” stone) to turn yourself into stone. A greater restoration, remove curse, or stone to flesh spell can restore you back.
- Gong of Anti-Magic: Ringing this gong destroys all unattended magical items, removes all magic affects, and forces held magic items to save or destroyed. This includes the gong. It is also loud. Someone noticed.
- Blindfold of infravision: While wearing this blindfold, you have infravision.
- Mimic coin: This coin looks like a shiny but foreign gold piece, perhaps a bit thicker than normal. When placed in a bag with other normal coins, it will slowly eat them at the rate of 1 gold per 4 hours. After consuming 10 gold, it will spawn another mimic coin, doubling the rate. If it goes an hour without gold, it will get irritated and started biting the bag containing it, eventually biting the person holding it. Mimic coins burst into gold equal to half what they consumed on death but are more prone to running(rolling) than fighting to the death. However, you can tame one with a charisma check. You gain a bonus on this check for every gold you feed it. A tamed coin will follow you and work for you as a hireling, and can sort of understand the common language.
|Armour Class||3 |
|Hit Dice||1 (4hp)|
|Attacks||1 × bite (1d4)|
|Saving Throws||D12 W13 P13 B15 S15 (E1)|
Disguise: The Mimic Coin is indistinguishable from a normal coin without magical detection or 10 minutes of careful study to notice it faintly breathing.
- Lovely pin: This decorative flower looks lovely. Once affixed to your clothes, it cannot be removed without a remove curse spell.
- Glove of the thrown hands: While wearing this glove, you can detach your gloved hand and toss it up to 60 feet. You can control the hand normally, though it must walk or crawl using its fingers. It moves at 10 foot a turn and has a climb speed of 10 foot but cannot exert more than 5 lbs. of pressure at a time.
- Zip tie of security: Anything zip tied together with this zip tie cannot be undone without universal solvent or magic.
- Pocket city: this is a tiny replica city on scale almost impossible to fathom. It is about the width of a coin, yet it contains hundreds of little houses, buildings, walls, a keep, and a wizard tower. If you look very closely, you can make out tiny specks moving about the city. Magically enlarging the city might make it big enough to explore.
- Cup of thirst: Drinking the airy liquid in this cup renders you thirstier as if it was sapping the hydration out of you instead of hydrating you. Very handy for getting drunk.
- Choker of self-ownership: While wearing this choker, you are immune to charm effects.
- Belt of magic missile: While wearing this belt, you can cast magic missile, but it always targets the nearest enemy. Once used this way, you cannot do so again until the belt has been struck by a magic missile spell, which it absorbs when you are targeted by the spell.
- Lotion of incorporeality: After taking 5 minutes to apply this lotion to your entire body, you become transparent and unable to interact with the world for an hour. You can move through matter, but are blocked by iron, magic barriers, or any material thicker than 2 feet. You cannot make or be affected by attacks or spells unless those attacks or spells can specifically target incorporeal targets. Make sure to not be inside something when the effect wears off.
- Whip of healing: Attacks with this whip heal the target for 1D4+modifier damage instead of damaging the target. A target healed more than once this way takes a -1 penalty to all die rolls until they can spend a day resting.
- Polymorph grenade: This grenade is vaguely shaped like a rabbit, with the pin being ears folded together. Make a ranged attack with this item; everyone within a 10-foot burst is turned into a harmless rabbit as the polymorph others spell on a failed spell save. If you miss, the grenade deviants in direction; roll 1d8 with 1 being north for the direction and 1d6 x feet for the distance.
- Perfect orb: this orb is mathematically perfect. It has no flaws and is so captivatingly perfect. Anyone with a lawful alignment makes a save against spells or be overwhelmed with an urge to possess the orb. They will take any action to acquire it other than damaging their own allies permanently.
- Gem of Gravity Direction: By focusing and pointing the tip of this cut gem a direction, gravity orients itself in that direction while you keep focusing. Taking any action breaks this focus. You are not immune to the shift in gravity. Gravity changes are localized either in the room you are in or out to 200 feet if outdoors. Attempting to shift gravity again while falling requires an intelligence check.
- Immortal barrel: This barrel is totally immune to all damage. It never cracks, breaks, fails, or collapses. It cannot be disassembled because of this immunity as well. It is not airtight, but you can spend a turn to climb inside the barrel and be likewise protected, if uncomfortable.
- Pebble of infinite weight: You can place this pebble on a surface and speak the command word (“between a hard place!”). That surface will never move until the command word is spoken again, except for downward.
- Auto Dentures: These dentures must be worn before they function. Once worn for at least an hour, you can then command them to eat for you. They will leap from your mouth and consume a meal, granting you the full effect of that meal. They then do their best to return to your mouth.
- Yoga Mat of calm: Anyone in contact with this yoga mat while it is lying flat on a surface is considered a neutral target of anyone, even the most violent of creatures.
- Mini portals: This platinum circle is roughly 5 inches wide in diameter. It can be used as a portal to any other mini portal but using it more than once a day has a cumulative 5% chance of breaking both portals.
- Anybox: This overwise mundane brown box can take the shape of any container that you might need, such as large or small box, a serving tray, a barrel, or even a small wheelbarrow.